Can I get a witness?

I have been letting my goal of blogging 3x a week slip. I am so impressed by bloggers who manage to update their blog every day or every other day. I know that they are just a busy as I am yet they make the time to work on their blog. HAHA in that last sentence I accidentally typed busty instead of busy. Maybe I should have left it.

I feel like there a few things that impede my blogging process.

One is that I do not work on a computer all day. I think if I worked on a computer during the day I would be able to work on the blog on lunch breaks. I suppose I could bring my laptop to work, but in my business we don't necessarily take an official lunch break, and I am really focusing efforts on my business when I am in the building and don;t want the distraction of my laptop.

 Another thing is that I feel like I should always have pictures to go with my posts. Thus is a truth with outfit posts, but because one of my goals when starting this blog was to enhance my writhing skills, so A new goal I am setting for myself is to write one photo-less post on my blog a week. It is easier for me to build a post around photos and then narrate them.

And most of all, I think that I am scared to actually start writing. I link my blog to my Facebook page, which means that pretty much anyone who has been part of my life is granted access to it. Boss, coworkers,parents, husband,friends of husband,old classmates and crushes, clients and so on. What if someone doesn't agree with me? Thinks I am too fat, or uneducated or female to give my opinion?

When I became a mother I decided to change the way that I thought. Starting with my loathing of confrontation. I wanted to do best to say what I think, and tell people when I am upset with them. I have done my best to air my concerns to a person themselves and to release the passive aggressive behave that I had come to lean on.

This was followed by the decision to be kinder on myself for my body size and shape. I have felt bad about my body most of my life. I still remember the first time a boy called me fat.  I am not skinny. I am not petite. I have big feet, big boobs and a healthy appetite. I also have a baby. A beautiful, healthy boy that I made in this body. How can I hate something that created (with some help, of course) the best part of my life? Not only that but I am pretty! And I take care of myself and dress well. I have a handsome loving husband, I am healthy and strong. What's an extra 20, 30 pounds to all this? Nothing that I should hang my head over.


So now I am trying to face something new. To stand out. To say what I mean and mean what I say. To let all of the awesomeness inside of me  out, even if I am the only one who sees it. To pull myself kicking and screaming out of my comfort zone. To quote my very own husband, "If you don't take risks you never win". I am not a risk taker. I stay well inside the box and I want to explore the outside. I can't look back on my life in 30 years and wish I had stood up or spoken out. It can not be too late to start.

I started this post to babble on about why I wasn't keeping up on my blog and all the rest of this came spilling out!

-MB